Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Marriage and Compromise

Our wedding anniversary is rapidly approaching and, among other things, it has me thinking about how compromise plays such a large role in spousal relationships. Each of you has been living as an independent adult for years (well, one would hope). You've developed your own way of doing things around the house, your own personal lifestyle and habits, etc. Suddenly, it's not just you.

How do two individuals merge their lives together? It's through give-and-take and exploring each others wants, needs and priorities (a process that hopefully began well before you exchanged vows). It's not easy, and it's not always the big things like having kids or not. Sometimes the little things, the details of life have to be considered as well....

Thermostat: What temperature is most comfortable for you? Do you prefer the house to be warm or cool? I like it a bit warmer than my wife, but we're pretty close on this one.

Toilet Paper: Unroll from the top or bottom? She was top, I was bottom... now we're both top.

Dishwasher: Utensil handles down or up? We're both handles down people, except for sharp knives, those go blade first. We (or at least I) do have other dishwasher issues, but I'll save that for a later post.

Alarm Clock: Morning person or nightowl? I used to get up at 4:30am to meditate, pray, read, etc. My wife was more of the nightowl type. Now we both sleep in as late as possible (the kids usually wake us up fairly early).

Bed: Firm mattress or soft? Both firm here.

Reality TV: Yes or no? We agree that most of it is just junk, but we'll both be watching the season premiere of the Amazing Race this evening - the Race rocks!

So, what seemingly insignificant compromises have you had to make with your spouse?

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